The Oscar winner chats with PEOPLE’s Deputy Style Director while promoting her new partnership with Japanese skincare brand Shiseido — and it ends up being the best pep talk ever

Anne Hathaway sparkles. Literally. She’s incandescent in an all gold outfit and “Cinderella-level” Bulgari jewels when she enters The Sky Lounge in New York City’s Virgin Hotel at an event celebrating her Shiseido ambassadorship. Her famous smile is somehow more captivating in person than it is on screen. Her warmth is equally as magnetic, introducing herself as “Annie” before plopping next to me on the pristine white sofa set up for our interview. Just me and Annie taking in the breathtaking view of Manhattan from 38 floors up as we prepare to talk about skincare. Casual.

The Oscar winner is my first interview since returning from maternity leave less than two weeks prior. I’m hot, in need of my breast pump and already worried about making the next ferry home to my kids. This perfect storm manifests itself right on my chest — I feel the red blotches forming from nerves and adrenaline.

Turns out, Hathaway can relate. She often gets chest hives — which she’s dubbed “talk show hives” — when she has to do press around a project.

“I go blotchy too,” she exclaims, and grabs my hand. “I have a makeup artist who evened me out!”

I already feel calmer. As our conversation kicks off, I’m reminded how nice it is to connect with someone on a singular experience — even if that someone is an Oscar winner who also starred in The Princess Diaries which you saw three times at the movie theater while slurping down Orange Julius with your friends in 2001. (Mia Thermopolis forever.)

Below, the biggest takeaways from our chat.

TAYLOR JEWELL

Aging is “personal” (and we need to stop asking women about it) 

“Aging is just another word for living. And what you do with it from there is personal and up to you.I feel great — I feel better than I did in my twenties because I’m taking much better care of myself.”

Every decade demands something different 

“In my 30s, I had to give up alcohol. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t lead the life that I wanted while drinking. And in my 40s I’m finding I have to support myself differently nutritionally. I want to go back and talk to my 25-year-old self who felt like she didn’t have to do anything and just be like, ‘Oh honey, honey, there’s a whole other world out there and it tastes like an avocado.’”

The postpartum snapback is fake news

“People don’t talk about this and it really made me feel better when I found out about it. It takes three years for your body to fully recover from a pregnancy. I didn’t snap back. I want to be very, very clear about that. With my second [Hathaway’s mom to sons Jonathan, 7 and Jack, 3, with husband Adam Shulman, 42], it took every minute of those three years. Let your body be a body. There’s nowhere to get to. It’s just now. Be present and take care of yourself and don’t set expectations.”

A regular skincare routine is an investment in yourself 

“I’m really happy to have been exposed to Shiseido’s Vital Perfection [line]. I didn’t know there was skincare specifically designed for skin in its fifth decade. I’m thrilled to have that extra bit of support.”

COURTESY OF SHISEIDO

[Editor’s note: To achieve her glowy complexion, the star turns to two products over and over again: Shiseido’s Vital Perfection Uplifting Firming Cream ($140) and Uplifting and Firming Eye Mask ($85), the latter which has become a go-to for traveling.]

Fashion is all about feeling good — and having fun 

“In this moment everybody’s taking risks and I feel like there’s more than one way to do it right now, which means that you don’t have to hit a mark, you just have to be yourself — and that feels wonderful. Erin [Walsh, her stylist] and I believe that style is an expression, and I trust her, which makes me feel like I can be braver. We don’t take it too seriously. This isn’t a dress rehearsal; this is life. I was given so many things at such a young age, and I didn’t always know how to appreciate them. I felt badly about myself in certain things, and I didn’t know how to enjoy what I was wearing. Now I’m wearing things that I enjoy, and I’m wearing them gratefully — and that seems to be working.”

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Let your kids pick out their own Halloween Costumes 

“I might break your heart right now. The first thing you have to do is ask the kids what they want to be. If you want to do it as a family, you’ve got to let the kids choose.”